Friday, August 03, 2007

Rendeem Pest

(For a translation scroll down)

E heve e beef weth peeple thet spell thengs cempletele wreng when they knew perfectle well thet they ere beeng cempletele encerrect.

Recentle, me ceesen end me heve teken te enventeng e new tepe ef wreting. Thes sentex censests ef repleceng evere vewel en the englesh lengeege end petteng en "E" en ets plece. Ebveesle, "Es" den't chenge.
E let ef thes pest cemes frem wetcheng e stell yeenger ceesin tepe en hes MeSpece te hes MeSpece freends. Et's e bench ef shet leke thes:

wat up?
wat school u go to
call me 555-5555
yeah lol im grounded now too

end se en end se ferth.... yee get the edee. Me beef es thet peeple leke hem ere cempletele ewere thet they're besterdezeng the lengeege. End they den't cere thet the rest ef es heve te set there end trenslete theer reterded lengeege-- end they're ekey weth thet. E den't cere thet they speek te eech ether thet wey, bet when E get en enstant messege from enebedy, end they telk leke thet, et mekes me went te greb e neerbe het peker end sheve et ep theer ess. These ere the tepe ef peeple thet get "there, Their, end they're" mexed ep.
Se E thenk thet thes es the seleteen. Evere teme thet semeeene telks te me leke thet, E em geeng te replece evere vewel weth the letter "e" end let them trenslete me vere ewn besterdezed (bet fer mere destengeeshed) verseen ef Englesh.
end then when they tell me, "can u plz speel write?" E'll sey, "net entel e de e dembess."

They'll never know what hit them.

I have a beef with people that spell things completely wrong when they know perfectly well that they are being incorrect.

Recently, my cousin Otto and I have taken to inventing a new type of writing. This syntax consists of replacing every vowel in the English language with "E". Obviously, "Es" don't change.
A lot of this post comes from watching a still younger cousin type on his myspace to his myspace friends. It's a bunch of shit like this:

wat up?
wat school u go to
call me 555-5555 laterz
yeah lol im grounded now too.

and so on and so forth.... you get the idea. My beef is that people like him are completely aware that they're bastardizing the language. And they don't care that the rest of us have to sit there and translate their retarded language-- and they're okay with that. I don't care that they speak to each other that way, but when I get an instant message from anybody, and they talk like that, it makes me want to grab a nearby hot poker and shove it up their ass. These are the type of people that get "there, their, and they're" mixed up.
So I think that this is the solution. Every time that someone talks to me like that, I am going to replace every vowel with the letter "e" and let them translate my very own bastardized (but far more advanced) version of English.
And then when they tell me, "can u plz speel write?" I'll say, "net entel e de e dembess"

They'll never know what hit them.

In other news,
I was looking at The Outlook, the newsmagazine that shows up with the Albuquerque Journal, yesterday, and read that Sony ImageWorks is going to be building a studio in Albuquerque. They said that they'll be bringing people from abroad, but that they're also going to be working locally with colleges and universities to recruit people.
Since Imageworks focuses on computer animated movies and the like, this might be something I should look into, given my recent change in majors. I wouldn't have to move to somewhere like California or India to to computer animation work.

I only fear what David's going to say when I tell him that my aspiration is to work at Sony <.<;;;




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